3 Reasons Why It’s Not Your People Skills That Are Lacking
In private coaching sessions, leaders often tell me they believe their people skills are lacking. The reasons follow the same track:
- They can’t seem to motivate that worker to step up their performance.
- They can’t compel their team to shift their thinking and innovate.
- They’ve tried everything but they just can’t get people to accept the necessary changes in the business.
They blame themselves, believing they just don’t have good enough people skills. We assume it’s our failing when people don’t respond.
Guess what? We all have the same issues. It’s not that we lack people skills. It’s that we’ve been taught the wrong people skills.
Our Minds Hold the Secret to Influential Leadership
We can learn what makes our people really tick. That’s the gift of neuroscience.
Once we understand an individual, we can adapt our leadership to match what that individuals needs.
That’s when real performance happens.
Here are three examples of what we can all learn from the technology of our human minds.
| Our Mind’s Technology | Leadership Impact |
| COMMUNICATIONEvery person on this planet is wired differently in the way we need information communicated so that it is clear vs. confusing. That includes information about our world, our job, a project and more.We’re also specifically wired in the way we process that information and make decisions about it. If we don’t get clear information, we can’t make correct decisions. | COMMUNICATION We naturally communicate in the way we are wired. Which means we mis-communicate with anyone who isn’t wired the way we are. Which would be the majority of others.When we learn how people are wired to communicate and process information, we can adapt our style to match who we’re communicating with. Communication goes from confused to compelling and better decisions result. |
| MOTIVATIONWe also are all uniquely wired as to what it takes to motivate us into action. We do what we do, act when we act, based on different triggers. | MOTIVATIONAs leaders, we motivate using our own motivation mind design. If you’re trying to motivate someone and it’s failing, it’s not you! You’re simply not hitting that person’s motivation trigger.When we understand the other person’s motivation trigger—we adapt our behavior to match their needs. For example, are they motivated by a carrot or a stick or some combination? Do they need to see the upside potential to become motivated? Do they need to understand why something has to happen to trigger motivation? |
| CHANGEWe’ve all seen teams herd up and dig in at the slightest mention of a change. We’ve heard the muttered complaints, felt the cringe in the room.We may assume it’s stubbornness, or perhaps they just don’t understand the power of the change.The reality is that our human brain chemistry literally drives us to fight change. With the same fight that is part of our instinctual fight or flight instinct. |
CHANGE As leaders, we’re taught how to manage change and the resistance we’re told to expect.The thing is – change management approaches don’t address the human chemistry that is the key driver of resistance to change. They offer processes that focus on organizational and high level analysis… while missing the true cause. Which is our human brain chemistry.When we understand how human brain chemistry triggers everything from resistance to change to group dynamics, we can leverage and/or avoid the chemical responses that set up resistance.For example, when we see the team herd up behind a specific approach, we can act to neutralize the chemical reaction driving that herd behavior. How? By creating another herd with 1-2 people. That creates the safety humans need to move from backing one approach to stepping into something new. We can effectively lead change, when we leverage the technology of our minds. |
The Bottom Line
We’re not lacking in people skills. We’re lacking in the understanding of what really makes individuals tick.
The knowledge of our human minds is increasing everyday, by leaps and bounds. We can use this knowledge to adapt our own leadership behaviors.
We can learn to fuel employee performance, lead effective change, drive increased job satisfaction and become the influential leaders we all strive to be.
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Want to learn more about how to influence your teams and step into your best leadership mind?
In the spirit of the Holidays, Download your FREE copy of The Influential Leader! This pocket guide to your employees’ minds is filled with over thirty techniques to empower your leadership.
Rebel Brown
A masterful agent of change, for over 25 years Rebel has inspired, coached and empowered over 250 global organizations to ultimate performance and profitable market advantage. Rebel blends the power of neurosciences with her deep business expertise to guide executive and corporate clients to unleash their ultimate performance potential. She has been featured in First Business TV, Forbes, Entrepreneur, Business Insider and Business Week. Her best selling business book, Defy Gravity, is any leaders’ guide to breakout growth. Rebel’s Rebelations blog is read by thousands weekly. She is a an NSA and a Vistage International speaker, acting as a keynote speaker and leading workshops globally. She also was named one of the Top 100 Women in Computing. Besides speaking and writing, Rebel has vast consulting experience in shifting corporate perspectives to create breakout strategy, positioning for advantage and profitable growth. She works with US and European venture firms to successfully fund and launch companies. She also ran a consulting practice in Paris for two years, bringing European firms to the United States. Rebel is also the founder and director of the Unstoppable U Foundation, a non-profit program committed to guiding kids to know that they are born to be Unstoppable.